You Might be a Hockey Parent if You....

 

  • Have more miles on your '02 minivan than a '66 Chevy.

 

  • Have had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because you were in a different state with kid #2 at a tournament, and your spouse had kid #3 two states away in a 3rd tournament, all in one weekend.

 

  • Know every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on......But don't have a clue as to who his schoolmates are.

 

  • Ground your kids for a week, except for hockey practice.

 

  • Chuckle when a co-worker says his kids play soccer.

 

  • Take out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.

 

  • Complain about ice time when only 10 skaters showed up to that game.

 

  • Plan the birth of your next child so he has a good hockey birthday.

 

  • Shout "Watch this! Watch this!" every time Junior touches the puck in practice.

 

  • Teach your new baby so their first word is “Zamboni”.

 

  • Need new personalized license plates (again) since child changed teams.

 

  • Have a volume of hockey related e-mail at work that exceeds business related e-mail....during the off season.

 

  • Use the term "illegal recruiting" in a post discussing 96's.

 

  • Make all your computer passwords begin with "hockey" or contain your child's number.

 

  • Have been barred from more than one rink on more than one occasion.

 

  • Have all your photos of family vacations with a Canadian flag in background!

 

  • Keep stats ........at practice!

 

  • Can rationalize spending $159 on a Synergy for a 9 year old, but won't spend $5 on a Birthday Card for your spouse.

 

  • Have more Hockey Mom/Dad T-shirts and Sweat Shirts than shoes.

 

  • Hate sending Christmas cards, because the stats only show half the season!

 

  • Have to explain that the pilgrims didn't play hockey, and Thanksgiving is actually a holiday, not just a tournament!

 

  • Purchase a new $135.00 stick because the old one didn't have any goals left in it.

 

  • Can't compose a sentence, or have a conversation that doesn't use at least one of the following words: "elite", "select", "AAA", Nationals", "premier" or "tryouts".

 

  • Think a '93 Merlot Select is a new NJ hockey team, and want to know when tryouts are.

 

  • Know a few 5 year olds that are good but "lack focus".

 

  • Have had kids ask if Christmas is "home or away".

 

  • Want to try for another kid, so you can start younger!

 

  • Are asked to decide between try-outs and first communion, and you ask the church what your options are.

 

  • Received a letter from AAA Automobile Club and called for more info about tryouts.

 

  • Are asked by someone how old your children are, and you respond "I have a 93 and a 90".

                          

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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